Posts for Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Written on Tuesday September 23, 2008 at around 4 PM
I had this pretty awesome comparison of my family with just a little bit of venting in it but I thought it was well written but being the stupid person I am I forgot to save my work and of course again today my laptop blue screened and with it went my work. It really sucked and then I was mad so I walked away and wasn't going to write today. Then after this battle that we are now fighting with Mayo and the insurance company I figured it was worth writing.
If this billing problem isn't resolved I will go back on what I have said about Mayo Clinic because the billing procedures they have suck and because of that I don't care how well I'm treated at the Clinic, I care about being billed the correct amount. You see, we have a $4,000 out of pocket total amount that I am to pay per year. I have already met that amount yet I am still getting bills for $2,000+ and being told I need to pay. The insurance company says that the amount was paid and Mayo is saying no then The Man ended up getting into an argument with the insurance company because all of the amounts we're being told to pay aren't right. I don't know everything but what I do know is that I wish I would have done more research on medical facilities and possibly made a better choice.
So now I'm all upset because we are using all of the money we've been trying to save to move to pay off medical stuff that I have no business paying. This is stressing The Man out which then makes me upset because it's MY medical crap that's causing the problem. At this point in time I'm really regretting having the colonoscopy done only because of the problems we're having with Mayo and the insurance company. It's no wonder that healthcare is so messed up. I mean you're told by your insurance company that you only owe this much then the actual place you go to says, "Yeah we still need our money and your insurance hasn't paid so now you have to pay and if YOU don't then we'll put it on your credit report." I don't even know what to say or do anymore.
I have been trying to be more calm and spend better quality time with the kids and now all I want to do is run away and not deal with anything. The Man is mad at me with good reason, I don't do much anymore and I hardly work now, I'm short with the kids and I get frustrated more easily. I know that he has these problems too and from now on I think that I'm going to start taking the Sprint card and just take the kids to the park and give him his space. I have no idea what to do about Mayo. I have a few more appointments that are check ups and stuff now I'm wondering if I should find some place else to go. I wish The Man would get out more or at least meet new people because maybe if he did then everything would be different. Jeez now I sound like a whiner huh?
I guess I am because it seems that I screw a lot of stuff up since I don't want to do anything around the house or work so that just leaves him to do it. I'm trying to get better about it by hanging out with the kids (bike rides and parks), I am trying to get the laundry caught back up and trying to keep the kitchen clean. Today I have been slacking in that department because.....well there's no reason why. I have no valid answer except for the fact that I am a spoiled, selfish, Christian wannabe, high maintenance housewife. There now the truth comes out. I suck at everything I do, I have no confidence, I'm unsure and withdrawn, unorganized and just angry and upset. I have the most awesome kids but I can't see past the anger of myself to be the best parent and wife to my family. I have no one to blame but myself. You know I have this picture I have in my head about this family (both sides get along and that there is just so much love and support) and just the realization that with my family that will never be.
Why do you ask? Well because it's called the real world. My dad is so far Anti-Christian and anti medicine that he took my brother right there with him. My dad treats people as though they are his property and loves the control. I swear the man has depression, multiple personalities with a hint of bipolar in there too. My mother in law is a die hard Lutheran, no big deal but our problem is with the fact that if she's not working her job then she's at the church. my dad hates her because she's a religious person and the only problem she has with him is the way he treats me. I don't like The Man's dad for obvious reasons and that will never change. His oldest sister is more "spoiled, selfish, Christian wannabe, high maintenance housewife" than me. If it's not her way then she throws a temper tantrum. I don't have much problems with the other two sisters so. I mean we're just a normal mashed family with normal emotions. When I'm around his sister I am nice to her and I try to be nice to his dad but I can be nicer more easily to his sister. Luckily I don't have to deal much with his dad or brother much anymore.
So the dream family will never be and I need to focus on my family because that's the most important to me and needs the most work and really is the greatest. So even if you can't change your family members, remember that your real family is the one you create with God and your spouse anything after that is just gravy.
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